I was supposed to be abroad this quarter, but instead I went to Kentucky. I had a pretty awful Winter Quarter and I was not mentally healthy, and thought that going abroad would be my chance to get away from everything. I thought coming home would be a huge setback, but it gave me a rare opportunity to be with my family when I needed them the most. It’s the one silver lining I’ve been able to hold on to in all of this, getting to be with them. My sister and I got to reconnect and be close in a way we hadn’t been since we were children. She was my classmate again, my friend.

We both experienced this pandemic as students. She’s brilliant and didn’t bat an eye at online school, but for me it was harder. I found it hard to focus on school. I wasn’t able to train for swimming. I got frustrated with myself that I wasn’t doing enough for either. I got impatient with myself for feeling bad or for not trying hard enough. I tried to find the time to take care of myself and to be healthy, and try to recover from a couple months of being in a really unhappy place. But I never had to explain that to my family. They never made me feel guilty for being distracted, or for having setbacks, or for being anxious. They let me feel everything and listened to me intently when I needed them.

Every night without fail we would walk around the neighborhood after dinner, and then sit down and watch the Golden Girls. After a few weeks of being home, I didn’t feel the same pressure I had at the beginning. It was just me and them. My life was simple in a way that it hadn’t been in what felt like a very long time. I know that I am extremely fortunate to have a place to go and people to stay with. I’m grateful that I had them. I am grateful for the bit of stability they gave me so willingly in this time. I’m grateful that they let me live in our little bubble when everything in the world seemed to be going wrong.